It’s Time to Be Embarrassed About Your Phone Again
The biggest trick technology pulled was convincing us to carry it around with us.
My wife goes for long walks every morning. No phone, no headphones, just the dog and the dirt.
This week, she came back and said something powerful.
“Unless I bring it with me, there’s no evidence the internet even exists.”
She’s right. Most of us think technology is everywhere. It’s not. It’s just with us because we never let it go.
Technology hasn’t infiltrated every part of our lives; we’ve just brought it along to every part of our lives. We arm ourselves with tech the moment we step outside. And then, when we’re outside, we fiddle and play with them whenever there’s a moment to spare.
Today, if you live in a city and leave your house, even if you don’t touch your phone, you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who are staring at theirs. Even in meetings, laptops and phones now seem perfectly acceptable. Ten years ago, that would’ve been frowned upon.
We no longer pretend to pay attention.
Our sense that we’re surrounded is just proximity bias — not to technology, but to each other’s addictions.
It’s embarrassing.
My friend and I are building a business around more mindful relationships with tech. One of the ideas we’re exploring is public posters: visual provocations to nudge people into noticing their own habits. The idea isn’t to shame, but to make it harder to pretend that this is normal.
We know there is something off about the way we use our phones in public. I get the sense we can still influence the etiquette around how we use technology in public. And if we act we can still undo some of the damage the attention economy has already done.
A few distort reality for the many
The attention economy hijacks our cognitive biases. We all know the truth: the moments we lose to our phones are real. And they’re gone forever.
What we pay attention to becomes our life. And, right now, we’re paying attention to banal short videos and information that skews our understanding of the world.
With tech companies stealing critical aspects of our lives, one would think that governments would do more to regulate these industries. However, over the past two decades, governments have failed to coordinate and address the threats these new technologies pose to us. Throughout history, the self-interest of a few has always trumped the needs of the many.
Humanity only exists today because we got lucky.
So, we live in a time where a few unelected technocrats have inserted themselves between us and the real world. They’re shaping our beliefs, stealing our time, and distorting what we think is real.
It shouldn’t be this way.
I propose we take the initiative and agree to the following:
Touching your phone while talking to someone is a social transgression.
Using one’s phone in a meeting, unless it’s an emergency, is unacceptable.
Watching one’s phone while eating is unseemly. Taking photos of your food is worse.
DeWi-Fi public spaces: remove Wi-Fi from coffee shops, malls, trains, and planes. Let reality do its thing.
A message doesn’t demand a reply simply because it was sent.
Introduce ‘audience mode’. If you’re part of an audience, whether it’s a cinema, theatre, or live event, your phone should be no better than a paperweight.
Challenge yourselves to leave the house more often without your phone or watch.
We need space where thoughts can arrive. And places where presence is possible.
It’s up to us
There’s no cavalry coming.
No global summit.
No enlightened intervention.
Just us.
You.
Me.
Put the phone down.
Go for a walk.
I read this. At the moment I don't have the energy to deconstruct it to share several core disagreements. But if you want to do anything you suggest, I'd encourage you to do so. We can't even use pubic transit where I live without a phone. And payments. Some food stores, etc. will not take cash or credit cards anymore. Just phones. They get robbed less. And I'd said the majority of employees in the US are prohibited from using their cell phones at all during work. Checking up on a child, a loved one, making a medical appointment, etc. during what are deemed working hours might only be possible during a lunch break. I think you may live a very privileged live that the majority of the world does not. If I miss a call from some people, especially physicians, they will not call back. Nor will they leave a message. People with disabilities, the elderly, people with vision and hearing issues depend on their phones to live. The only way to get into my apartment, or adjust the heat or air, is with a phone. For starters. To be continued.